stephanie is: 
sleepy…
since starting a job with a lot of exercise (walking/standing all day, lifting heavy things/dogs, sweeping and mopping, etc…) my body has changed.
i have always been thin – mostly on my upper body – but never in shape. after the first month i dropped from my normal range of 98-100 lbs to 95-ish. my body seemed to adjust to all the new exercise and i slowly got back to my normal range by january.
i am “comfortable” in that range, but not thrilled with my body. i have no boobs, wide hip bones, a round butt (that would be nice if i have boobs to balance it), and thigh muscles that tend to look too big on me (at least from the angle i see them).
all petty complaints since the logical part of my brain tells me what is important is that i am healthy. if it weren’t for that part i’m sure i’d be all kinds of messed up because i am such a control freak when it comes to my body.
over the past few months i have started getting all muscly. i like all the arm muscles – i am even starting to see my triceps… the butt muscles are nice, but because i have bum fat still, i am the only one (besides danny perhaps) that know the muscles are there. i guess you need padding for sitting, but mine is too low to do any good when i sit. in fact you can see two bumps of my backbone/tailbone now at all times instead of one. and there’s the whole being over twenty cellulite thing. fun times.
i feel stronger now, but bigger in a not so happy way since you can only see my new muscles from the waist up. i pay pretty close attention to my body daily (okay, very close attention, but i don’t let myself get out of hand with it, much) and now the trend seems to be that i am burning more body fat again. maybe from increased muscle? or my daily soy protein bars? unfortunately, my butt/thigh area is the last place fat disappears on me. so i have even less boobs and no hope of ever feeling balanced or womanly.
this post is not very important and really had no point. i just felt the need to turn on the faucet to that part of my mind and lets some of it pour down the drain.
