Personal::
St Patrick’s Day was our 10 year wedding anniversary! Wow… I really don’t know how it could be that many years! Time flies when you are spending it with your best friend!

The evening was low-key but nice! We ate at our favorite local Mexican joint. Jax came along and enjoyed clapping to the mariachi band. I gave Danny a necklace I had engraved with the kanji for “love” on the front and the first line of one of my favorite songs on the back:
Thank You by Led Zeppelin
If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.
when mountains crumble to the sea, there would still be you and me.
Kind woman, I give you my all, Kind woman, nothing more.
Little drops of rain whisper of the pain, tears of loves lost in the days gone by.
Our love is strong, with you there is no wrong,
together we shall go until we die. My, my, my.
Inspiration’s what you are to me, inspiration, look… see.
And so today, my world it smiles, your hand in mine, we walk the miles,
Thanks to you it will be done, for you to me are the only one.
Happiness, no more be sad, happiness….I’m glad.
If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.
If the mountains should crumble to the sea, there would still be you and me.
When it came time to choose what to write, I decided on a song quote because of our love of music. After that, it was an easy choice. I always think of this song and Whole Lotta Love when I think of Danny.
 Front |
 Front |
Those who have known me before I had Jax know I had my hair in braids for nearly 10 years. It started as a way to hide the chunk of hair our puppy bit off the back of my head, but I fell in love with it. Crazy hair is part of who I am, and I haven’t felt “me” without it. When I got pregnant, I experimented using nicer synthetic hair and leaving more of the braids open at the end. That made redoing my hair much quicker, which was the goal pre-baby. When Jax arrived, I had simplified down to two rows of loose extensions braided in. I was really enjoying it that way! It added a couple …
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I hate my hair. I always have. But you work with what you have. I’ve enjoyed keeping my hair in braids and/or loose extensions for years. It has let me add length, thickness, color and fun for really cheap (because I do it myself).
After baby arrived, I had massive postpartum shedding. We’re talking handfuls of hair every time I washed it. My hair couldn’t hold the extensions in because it was falling out so fast. I took them out and got my first haircut in 18 years. I figured since I couldn’t hide my hair behind fake stuff, I’d need to at least take off the dead ends and make it shorter so there was less to shed. The shedding finally stopped right around when Jax’s hair stopped falling out.
Now I have inch-long hairs that stick up everywhere when I try to pull my hair back. It’s getting a little mullet-tacular. I still can’t do braids, because those little pieces are too short. And I’d want Jax to be sleeping through the night before I go back to a hairstyle that takes between 4 – 15 hours to put in. So I’ve been putting it back in a clip and avoiding mirrors.
Feeling ugly is no good. So This summer I decided I’d go red in the fall. I used to love going red every few years, but I couldn’t with my hair in braids (I’d end up polka-dotted!) I’ve had my hair light blond for a long time to best match the extension hair. My natural hair has dark blond roots, medium blond length and light blond ends/sun-bleached bits. It didn’t want to go straight from that super light color to red, so I used a semi-permanent dye to go back to my natural medium blond.
I’m ready for my red now, so all that is left is to pick out the dye brand/color and some maintenance shampoos. Those of you who are not-so-natural redheads, or have been in the past, what are your favorites? They don’t make the red dyes I used to use in the late 90′s/early 00′s…
   
I’m told it’s frivolous to dye my hair, but you have to feel good about yourself, right? This is what I can do while I’m stuck with lame hair. And my hair grows *so* slow.

My due date was February 18th, but you never know if you are going to deliver early or late. Everyone had been predicting I’d go early, and with the way my belly started to drop in my 37th week, I was starting to believe it. I was getting really uncomfortable when on top of everything, I caught a cold from Danny a couple days before my 38th week. I was miserable and unable to breathe, so I was up all night and getting really sleep-deprived. Add to that my braxton-hicks contractions that were starting to get pretty strong and frequent at night. I chalked it up to the exhaustion.
My weekly appointment a day before 38 weeks was uneventful. I was still 2 cm dilated and 90% effaced like the week before. None of that really says anything, so we made our next appointment for a week later. That night, I was down on the couch again, unable to breathe and having contractions. I started timing them and noticed they’d often fall into a pattern. A dear friend on the west coast kept me company while I timed them and just felt miserable in general. In the morning, I did something I never do – I called out of work. I was doing it because of my horrible cold and 2 nights of no sleep, but now I think my body knew something big was coming. When Danny got up, he realized he should stay home with me. I called the doctor and let her know that I was having contractions, but that they weren’t always regular. She suggested doing some walking and see what happens.

Heading to the hospital |

Early morning contractions |
Danny drove us to the mall, since it was too cold for walking outside. After one lap, I didn’t feel much different. Danny had us keep going for a while. When I got home, things really picked up. I called the after-hours line for my doctor in the early evening to tell her the contractions were 2-4 minutes apart. She told us to head to the hospital to be monitored. When we got there, they settled me in to get monitored and checked while Danny filled out the paperwork left over from my pre-registration. Of course I was still 2 cm dilated, but they were seeing that my contractions were going strong. They had me walk the halls for an hour, and by the end I was even having some teary moments during some hard contractions.

First starting to monitor |

Ready to rock and roll! |

Parents-to-be! |
When the doctor arrived and checked me, I was still 2 cm dilated, but almost totally effaced. So frustrating! A huge blizzard was due to hit in the morning and I was already in enough pain that I wouldn’t want to drive the 30 minutes home to wait for more action. The doctor decided I was ready enough to stay and have the baby, so she broke my water. It didn’t hurt, but it felt so weird… There was a lot of fluid and the doctor got sprayed a bit. Oops! (I sprayed 2 nurses throughout the night as well, hah!) After that, the contractions really picked up. I wanted to labor naturally as long as possible, but coming into the hospital having been up 36 hours with a terrible cold, I knew it was more likely than not I’d get an epidural to make it through to the pushing stage. I was doing pretty good – staying mobile and working though each contraction – Danny was a huge help. But then the baby rolld over and suddenly I was having horrible back labor contractions. Everyone had warned me how much back lbor hurts if you get it, and that is no understatement. It was an 11 on a scale of 1 – 10. I think I described one contraction to Danny as “fire, chain saws and rabid beavers chewing on my spine.” After Danny and I talked to the nurse about all my options, I very quickly decided I should get the epidural sooner than later before the back spasms hurt my ability to function later in the important stages. I wasn’t trying to be a hero and go all natural no matter what, but I was glad to have gone through a good number of hours of it.
The anesthesiologist didn’t waste time arriving, thankfully. Every 2 minutes my back went up in flames of pain. Danny left the room to avoid the needles and the doctor inserted the line during 2 different contractions. I’d worried it would make it hard to stay still for him, but I was too overwhelmed by paint to move much. At that point I was stuck to the bed, but it was midnight, so I’d been mobile quite a while and awake for close to 3 days. They checked me before the back labor and I was still only 3 cm. It was a huge relief to have the pain turned down from an 11 to a 1 or 2. I had a catheter inserted and my only complaint was that it felt funny. Nice to have that be my only discomfort when I was so tired.
I think I got the epidural just in time, because in a matter of about 3 or 4 hours, I went from 3 cm dilated to 8.5 cm. Right around then, I started having pain in the right side of my abdomen with every contraction. I noticed my right leg was quickly coming “unnumb” (the anesthesiologist made fun of that word when I used it). We decided to have him add a bit of medication to the epidural before I got to the pushing stage. Here is where I had my only “scare”, though I wasn’t every scared. I was laying flat with my eyes closed to the bright light he’d turned on as he “topped” me off. Suddenly I said “my mouth tastes weird” and described a metallic taste and some tingling. That sent everyone into action ordering medicines “stat!” in case they were needed. I didn’t want to ask what they were for for fear of worrying myself, so I just kept my eyes closed after seeing that Danny was beside me. Everyone got quiet and just watched me, but all was well. The epidural kicked back in and I finally asked what had happened. He told me that sometimes some of the medication can get into the blood stream and shoot to the brain, causing a seizure. He though perhaps a tiny amount and seeped in and given me some slight warning signs. It made him concerned that I’d have a higher ris of seizure should I go for a c-section and have to turn up the epidural strength.
Things went back to being calm after that. They propped me up for a while to do some practice pushed while waiting to get from 9 to 10 cm dilated. When I was ready to start pushing, I was frustrated to find my contractions, while very strong, were slowing down. I just wanted as many opportunities to push as possible, but with only 3 pushes per contraction, everything was dragging out. Because of the extra epidural medicine to numb my right side, my left was completely useless. The turned off the epidural at the beginning of pushing to let me gradually come back to feeling. They started a line of pitocin to give me more frequent contractions, but had to turn it up several times before it did anything. I was having one spot of severe pain (they called a “window”) with every contraction, but it only bothered me when I paused pushing to take a breath. Since they turned the epidural off before the 2 hours of pushing, I gradually had more and more pain. But, I was happy to regain all feeling in my legs and no longer had back labor (they had flipped me several times to get him to roll over.)
My favorite part of the whole experience was the last hour of pushing. I pushed for 2 hours total, and the first hour was hard because I couldn’t feel the baby to know where to bear down. By the second hour I was starting to feel his head when it got close to the exit. Suddenly I knew exactly what to do and was eager for each contraction so I could make more progress. At one point I said to everyone (OB, nurse, Danny, a newborn nurse and a nurse in training), “Is is weird that I think this is awesome? I’m so excited!!” They laughed at me and later said I had a great attitude. I felt him getting closer and closer with each push, then even staring to come out a bit with each push. The OB was worried about him fitting out and told me she’d give me one more contractions, then she’d try an episiotomy. That got me super determined, and on push 1 of the next contraction I gave it all I had and out popped his head! I had told them I wanted to feel him, so she had me reach down. I wasn’t ready for what I felt – a slimy, furry blob… Was I giving birth to a kitten?? The OB did her suctioning or whatever they do (I was very overwhelmed and everything became a blur) then out he came, full head of dark hair, pink and screaming! He was on my belly and we were crying, though I was so tired I didn’t sob like I thought I would.

Finally on the outside! |

Meeting his daddy |

It’s cold out here! |
After some time on my tummy, they took him off to be cleaned and have his testing done – whatever other stuff they do. His Apgar scores were 9 and 9 – really, really good. He weighed 6 lbs and 13 oz and was 20″ long. We’d both guessed just over 7 lbs, but neither of us are big people and he was 2 weeks early. After making sure Danny was taking pictures since I couldn’t see across the room, I focused back on my OB. I’d been worried about delivering the placenta, as I knew nothing about that. But there it was in a pan beside the doctor. She told me it had come right out. I asked what the damage was down there, and it wasn’t two bad. several 1st degree tears in various places - like shrapnel-style tears instead of a rip. She put one stitch in each. I had just enough epidural left that the stitches felt like bee stings. I was too tired to care either way, though. I looked down at my belly at that point and was a little shocked to see it so empty. But then my baby boy, Jackson, was back in my arms and I didn’t miss him inside me anymore.
Congratulations on making it to the end of this epic post! Thank you all SO much for the well-wishes you have sent our way in Jax’s first week of life. We are so over-whelmed with love for him. He looks just like a little mini Danny and we can’t take our eyes off of him.

Jackson Eugene |

6 lbs 13 oz |

Little feets! |

Mommy |

Our little family |

Daddy |
I’ve made it past January! Our little man will be a February baby. Danny had been predicting an end-of-Jan birth, but I made it through the weekend with nothing but a whole lot of pre-labor contractions and very little sleep. I have been going back and forth between thinking baby will be a Valentine present or that he will arrive past my 2/18 due date (2/17 if you go by LMP not my early ultrasound). Honestly, I’m super ready to not be pregnant anymore. I’m ready to meet him! So if he wants to show up a little early, I’d be good with that!
I’ve been feeling good for 9 months pregnant. No swelling anymore (I had a bit in my ankles when I was still stressed and commuting to Maryland), though I know that might change. I have problems with my digestive system and other unmentionable things, but nothing I can’t deal with. I feel crampy sometimes, but mostly I am just having lots of Braxton-Hicks contractions 24/7. I don’t sleep much between those and my teaspoon-sized bladder. I’m still going to yoga classes – both gentle yoga and restorative. I have 5 more classes left on my pass, so I should be set for the rest of my pregnancy.
My hospital (and baby’s) are all packed and Danny has starting having me put them in the car when we go out. I don’t have his bag packed yet. I need to stop by CVS today, so I may get him some hospital snacks there (suggested by the hospital that we bring). His bag can’t be fully packed until d-day, as he has inhalers/sprays he has to use every night. But I can get a backpack started for him so it only takes a moment.
Work is busy busy busy and a little tough at times with all the contractions. There really isn’t an end point to what I need to get done before my leave – it’s more of a ‘do as much as you can in the time left’ kind of thing. I am grateful to not be driving to work anymore though. It was making my blood pressure go up. Now I’m back down at 100/60 where I should be.
Time for toast and work!
So I just got back from the OB from my weekly(!!) exam…
So my blood pressure was good – 100/60 now that I’ve stopped commuting to work. I had been stressing way too much the past few weeks. My weight looks good (I’m still almost ALL baby), fundal height exactly right at 37w and baby sounded good once she chased him around for his heart beat (he never sits still!). My Group B Strep test was negative, so I won’t need antibiotics before the birth.
She did an internal exam and it looks like the cramping I’ve been having the past couple of days is doing some work. I am 2cm dilated and 90% effaced(thinned out). She thinks that once my contractions set in for real, I’ll go past 2cm pretty quickly. While my cervix is still pretty far back, I am very thinned out and his head is really, really low. She asked if I knew if my mom had fast labors. All I knew was that we were both a month early and I ended up an emergency c-section because of my cord. I’m interested to hear what my dad says.
So who knows when things will pick up… Right now I just feel like I’m on the edge of getting my period. Crampy and yucky. I could suddenly get a bunch of contractions and go into labor tomorrow, or I could be at the same point next week when I go back to the OB. Danny has been convinced all along that baby will arrive at the end of January. Hmm…
And, OW it hurts to get an internal when you are dilated! Felt like she was in there up to my tonsils! TMI, maybe?
…for the past 4 months? We’re expecting! I know it is the norm for people to share the news at 12 weeks/3 months, but I just wasn’t quite ready. Growing a baby is rather nerve-wracking business! I’m no good at keeping my own secrets (others’ secrets? They’ll never drag it out of me!) I guess because I have shared so much of my life for so long. It was easier for me to just hide out until I was ready.

Things are going well, but it is still hard to wrap my mind around the fact that there is someone living inside of me. Kind of trippy. With each new milestone, it gets more real. We’ve heard the heartbeat twice now. Amazing! And seeing the baby dancing around at 12 weeks on the ultrasound screen was one of the best things I’ve ever seen. Can they just install a window in my belly? I’m starting to show, and so it was time to come out of hiding. That has made it quite real. I am excited for my belly to grow – I think pregnancy bellies are adorable. I’m trying not to get too worked up about the big ultrasound at the end of the month because then it will just be too hard to wait!
Clothing is starting to be a problem. I’ve grown boobs, plus my mini belly, and so my shirts are getting too short. I often just leave my jeans undone or held closed with a rubber band. I am still a couple weeks from being able to fit in maternity stuff, but I have my eye on some cute tops and sweaters. I’m a tiny gal, so hopefully I can buy some non-maternity stretchy tunics or short dresses to wear as tops.
I am definitely at the stage where I can see myself growing every day. Fun times!
I’d been feeling kinda under the weather, and this morning while getting packed up for work I started feeling worse. Luckily, the company I work for is very awesome and understanding, so I was able to stay home. I’ll probably just work from home for the rest of the week so I get plenty of rest.
I can’t believe it is already summer and almost July! I haven’t even thought about whether I’d throw myself a birthday party next month like I did last year. I’m not sure I have it in me (I certainly don’t today!). You can just shower me with gifts instead! ‘Cause I know you’re all rolling in money right now!
That’s all I’ve got right now. I’m already ready for bed and hoping the tv will be able to entertan me for a while.
I spent most of my face painting time kneeling on the floor to better reach the little kids’ cheeks. I guess the ends of my hair were in the purple, blue and green paint. I ended up just trimming the worst off since it was already super dry.
My hair really needs to be redone, but I have to totally redo it in a month for our vacation. So I will just be redoing no more than half right now. I’ve had no time, but I’ll finally get some on Monday.
Posted in Personal, Photos
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 Glasses, originally uploaded by punquin.
This is the photo I took at the eye doctor to show the blue inside the glasses. You don’t really see it straight-on. It was between this pair and a tortoise-shell pattern, but I’ve had that twice before.
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